I miss you like crazy. I wrote this out in a push pen, one of the ones from student activities, actually, but I bit the end that writes, so it was really hard to get it to come out. (That's what she said?)
I can't wait to be able to spend every day with you. With you in Maine this week, I get so sad not being able to even tell you how sad I am that you're not here and I'm not there. I just think of all the days that are going by that I could be doing things with you. I don't want to get a job two hours away, though. I want to get a job ten minutes away.
I know you don't want to hear this, but I just have to tell you because it gets me so excited and gets me through the day and helps me to work hard. Everyone at work keeps giving me good feedback, and I just imagine my boss saying "Sure, you can work remotely," and then I pack up my car, and the drive seems like the longest one ever, and I get pulled over about 5 times for speeding because I'm so excited to see you (but each time I tell the cop that I'm finally going to be with my boyfriend after so long apart, and he is sympathetic and lets me go with a warning). Then I pull into your driveway in my old blue car for good.
And after that, every day, I wake up and I roll over, and there you are. And since I get to work from "the office", Casey's old room, I get to stay in my jammies all day. So while you put on your nice button up shirt and pants that you look so nice in, I go downstairs and make some really good eggs for you for breakfast (two scrambled and one over-easy on a breakfast sandwich), and a really good lunch for you to bring to work with you. It has a surprise dessert in it, too.
(More likely, you tell me to go back to sleep, and so I do, and then by the time I wake up again, you're giving me a kiss and leaving and you set the alarm for an hour later for me)
Then I give you a nice big kiss, probably squeezing your cheeks together to make your lips really nice, and you squeeze my bum. Then we work all day, but I'm so happy because I know that I get to see you at the end of the day. When you finally get home, I run out and give you a giant hug.
Then we make a really good dinner. After, we take a nice hot shower with the newly installed dual shower head, and, after that, I give you the best massage ever, which makes it so you're not exhausted from work anymore, and you're ready to romp. Then I get to fall asleep with your arms tight around me, ready to do it all again the next day.
And on the weekends, we go for bike rides in the sun, and do puzzles in the rain, and go skiing in the snow.
I wish some days, too, that I could start a company and make lots o' money, and then I could follow you wherever your dreams take you. You could get really good at welding, or at carpentry, and then pick a town to start a business. We could buy a building right on main street and split it, and half could be my sweet shop / locally made artsy goods, and the other half could be your shop and warehouse. Or maybe I could be across the street from you. That way, every day, you could walk over for some cinnamon rolls or peanut butter balls or oreo truffles, or something else delicious from my sweet shop. Maybe even an afternoon cookie ;-) I would even try to make my own version of swamp ice cream.
Have you ever been to Essex? It would be in a cute little town like that. I went biking with my mom a few times there, and we got ice cream and stuff. That would be really fun to do with you. I'll have to see if any of the routes in the book you gave me are there.
What's your favorite color ice pop? I'm eating one right now, and I realized I don't know what your favorite kind is. I bet blue or green. Probably blue.
Charity must think I'm so weird. And the sister is the most important one to get along with and to think you're kind of a little bit normal. Sheesh. I'm so judgmental of Sam and Wesley's girlfriends; I can only imagine what she thinks of me. Maybe I will delete her number from my phone so I don't do that again.
Tonight, the little girl I'm sitting for, August, was bugging out when her parents left. She got in their car and wouldn't get out, and was insisting that they take her with them. She started sobbing and they had to peel her off of them and pretty much run out the door. So I picked her up (Even though she's like seven and not really pick-up-able anymore), and just let her do the big loud "woe-is-me" cry for a while, then I brought her over to the living room where Thomas was watching Wa Wa Wugzy or something like that, and she calmed down pretty quickly. I even let her eat her dinner on the couch while she watching. I always wanted to do that when I was little, but we were never allowed.
When the movie was over, I put Thomas to bed. He wouldn't get under the covers and read the books with me, though, so I just started reading anyway. Then, when he started talking over me and rolling around and not paying attention, I pretended to fall asleep. He goes, "Hey! Wake up! Just read the book!" so I would start reading again, until he would start up again, then I would pretend to sleep. Finally, after three times, he says, "You can't sleep in my bed!" (I actually was pretty tired). When I asked him why not, he said, "Because I'm sleeping in it!" and then he got under the covers.
Then I gave him a hug-and-a-kiss, and went downstairs to see what August was doing. I freaked out because I couldn't find her anywhere. I even looked outside. Finally, I checked in the guest room, which the door was closed to and I'd never gone in before, and she was in there. She was in bed watching Rescuers Down Under, so I watched that with her. I used to love that movie, but I was so sad for Penny. I think that's what made me want to adopt 99 kids when I was little, but then it would just be like running my own orphanage and would kind of defy the purpose of adopting them.
I remember one time in my Spanish class, for some reason we were talking about kids, and the professor (Martinez) asked how many of us were planning on eventually having our own kids, and like me and Liz Ackley raised our hands. So she asked all the other girls (there were no boys in the class) why they didn't want to, and they all said, "We don't want to bring kids into a world like this," and it was just depressing. I think it's a pretty good world.
I finally got another check for the stupid rugby jackets today. There are still 3 out there. That's another almost 300 bucks. It's nice, though, because at this point it will just be extra cash when I do finally get it, since the credit card is finally paid off. It will make me green like you.
I can't wait to see Maine pictures. And I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU SO SOON (relatively speaking) and hear all about your new job!
I love you like crazy, Chris.
All my love, always,
Rachel
No comments:
Post a Comment