Waiting

hey girl,

sorry for being so pessimistic, im not usually like this i think you know but i get into these funks (funky moods) and i start to think about the worst case scenarios kind of and then i have a hard time getting it out of my head.  i fixate on this stuff which isn't good, so i apologize, I hope you are excited for your birthday though and are optimistic about our future living situations.  don't be afraid to just say my behavior is bothering you because i feel like you dont think you're capable of getting me out of these moods but all you have to do is say how it bothers you or just say its bothering you and i will feel bad and snap out of it because even though thats all it seems like im trying to do is upset you; i dont really understand myself sometimes but maybe its just me trying to talk about it but don't wanna actually bring it up

i dont know, but i really miss you and i am excited to be closer to you, obviously i would much rather live with you, which would be amazing, but i will settle and it will still be a lot better than this :) just don't be impatient because no one knows how long it is going to take for something to come up that you like and that is close enough for you to be happy, but we will take it as it comes of course

<3<3

chris